The Art of Letting Go: Finding Peace in Surrender
We Say We Want Peace
We say we want peace, but we grip pain like it’s proof we existed.
Letting go is more than just an act; it is a lifestyle. It is releasing the hurt, the blame, and the people or institutions that no longer serve us. It is a call to honor ourselves and the natural order of things. Letting go isn’t about losing control; it’s about trusting the flow of life. It is not surrender in the sense of defeat, but strength and self-trust in their truest form.
What Is Letting Go
Letting go is not forgetting, denying, or pretending. It is the quiet decision to stop fighting reality and meet life where it is. Letting go begins when we stop resisting the lessons life brings and start listening.
Peace doesn’t come when we “get over” something. It comes when we stop trying to control how things should be or should have been.
A quote that has followed me through life is this:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
When life feels heavy or dark, it’s often because we’re investing too much of ourselves in situations we cannot control, or at least not from the perspective we’re viewing them through.
Today we’ll explore four main areas: hurt, blame, relationships, and control.
Letting Go of Hurt
Pain can become an identity. I know this firsthand. We replay events because we feel we must keep their meaning intact — but doing so anchors us to the past.
A quote I once heard says: “When we go through trauma, we know we’ve healed when we no longer explain how the events changed us, but instead, how the journey did.”
When the past is on loop, it keeps us small. It chips away at our self-worth and holds us back from our potential. Forgiveness is essential for our spirit, mind, and body to move forward.
We forgive not because others deserve peace, but because we do. Reframe forgiveness as freedom, not acceptance.
(For more on forgiveness, check out our upcoming podcast episode on October 14.)
Letting Go of Blame
Blame can lead to endless patterns and keeps us surrendering our power. It keeps the mind busy but the soul trapped.
One phrase I live by is this: “We must take accountability for the part we play in our own suffering.”
If we can sit with our pain and acknowledge the truth — that we cannot change what happened, but we can reclaim who we are now — we begin to heal.
The more we release blame and reflect honestly on the decisions that brought us here, the more we grow. Healing requires us to see the past not as a prison, but as a teacher.
Letting Go of Relationships
This one is difficult. Sometimes we outgrow people — friends, family, or lovers — and realize they no longer align with our path. It can be excruciating to walk away, but each time we do, it means we’ve completed a lesson and are ready for what’s next.
Letting go doesn’t mean closing the door in bitterness. It means walking away in truth.
When giving becomes draining instead of nourishing, the dynamic is no longer love; it’s obligation. We are who we spend our time with, and the partners we choose reflect how much we love ourselves.
That’s why discernment in our inner circle is vital.
One powerful question to ask:
Do the people closest to me act in alignment with what I believe about them — or am I holding onto their potential instead of their reality?
Letting Go of Control
At the heart of all suffering lies the desire to control.
We want people to live up to their potential. We want our jobs to reward us. We want life to follow our plan. But the more we try to control what we cannot, the more peace and freedom slip away.
Faith is the antidote. You don’t need religion for faith, only trust — trust that it will all work out. After all, it always has.
Even in my darkest days, I’ve seen that on the other side of struggle lies something greater.
One of my favorite quotes from Letting Go: The Art of Surrender by Guy Finley captures this beautifully:
“When we let go of our insistence that life obey us, life begins to serve us in ways we couldn’t imagine.”
How to Let Go
Letting go is not something we force — it’s something we allow.
Here’s a simple process to begin your practice:
Awareness
Identify where you’re attached — to a person, situation, or outcome.
Ask: What am I holding onto, and how does it make me feel? What need is being met by holding on?Acceptance
Stop resisting the truth. Ask: What am I afraid to feel if I release this? What am I avoiding?Presence
Focus on what is real now.
Ask: What stories am I telling myself about the past or future? What is true in this moment?Rituals of Release
Journal, meditate, or spend time in nature. Allow all feelings to rise.
Visualize each emotion as a balloon filled with air — one by one, let them deflate. This discharge of emotion is how the body frees itself.Reconnection with Trust
Trust yourself, trust time, and trust the unfolding of life.
Surrender isn’t giving up — it’s giving over.
Closing Thoughts
Letting go is not a single event; it’s a lifelong practice.
If you dedicate even a few moments each day to releasing the accumulation of pain, hurt, and control, life will begin to work with you instead of against you.
It is a slow and deliberate shedding of what was, so you can walk into what can be — light as a feather.
There is no greater gift you can give yourself than letting go of what no longer serves you and embracing what does.
If you found this article thought-provoking please check out the book Letting Go The Art of Surrender by Guy Finley
With love and gratitude,
Ad Lucem
Michael Perry
