The Power of Discomfort
Have you ever felt that resistance when you go to do something you know you should? That feeling of your heart racing and your gut sinking? What if I told you that this reaction is not only a gift, but the secret to everything you want. Peace, purpose, love, and success all hide behind the one thing we avoid most: discomfort.
The Biology of Avoidance and the Mind Body Connection
Often, when we find ourselves at a crossroads where change is needed, we still manage to get in our own way. I fell prey to this for a large part of my life, but I never stopped to ask myself why. There are a few factors at play, but much of it comes down to understanding how our mind and nervous system work together.
Most people believe that emotions like fear, anger, anxiety, and avoidance are purely mental, but they actually begin in the body. The body and the mind are in constant communication. The mind is like a clear pool of water, and when our nervous system is triggered, it’s like adding dye to that water. The nervous system colors the mind and influences our thoughts, emotions, and decisions.
The nervous system is the body’s surveillance system. It constantly scans for safety or threat. When you feel safe, your parasympathetic nervous system is active. It slows your heart, calms your mind, and allows you to relax. When you feel threatened, your sympathetic nervous system activates. This floods your body with adrenaline and cortisol, which not only strain the body but cloud the mind. Your system prepares for survival and switches into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. This happens before any conscious thought takes place.
That’s why whenever you step out of your comfort zone—whether it’s going to a social event, facing an argument, ending a relationship, or being called out—you feel that wave of resistance and chaos.
When we look at what happens to the mind, there’s something important to understand: we are not our thoughts. The mind is a problem-solving machine that takes in data and tries to give us answers. It’s a skilled storyteller that will create convincing narratives to push us back toward safety. It can make us believe we’re not safe or that we can’t handle what’s in front of us.
This reaction forms a loop, and it’s easy to get trapped in it. Every time we give in to avoidance without showing our system new evidence, it becomes harder to follow through on our goals and aspirations. The loop goes as follows:
Trigger: Something feels uncomfortable.
Body Reacts: Heart rate rises, muscles tense.
Mind Responds: “This is unsafe. I can’t handle it.”
Body Reacts Again: Adrenaline and cortisol flood the system.
Loop Repeats.
This loop keeps people stuck. It’s difficult to break because we’re going against our biological instinct for safety. But often, that safety already exists—we just need to teach our bodies and minds to recognize it.
The Comfort Zone Trap
Now that we’ve covered how discomfort shows up in the mind and body, let’s talk about why you stay stuck. Society glorifies convenience and instant gratification. We live in a world of luxury that fulfills our basic needs and offers endless distractions to numb discomfort.
Over time, this erodes our sense of purpose. We go to work, come home, turn on the TV, or scroll our phones. It’s safe, easy, and comfortable—but it’s also limiting. As we fall deeper into this pattern, resistance builds. It starts small: skipping an event, avoiding the gym. But each time we choose comfort over growth, we reinforce stagnation. Eventually, even simple changes feel overwhelming, and our bodies begin to label everyday challenges as unsafe. And so, the loop continues.
Breaking Free from Comfort
There are three main steps to break through survival mode and step into fulfillment: self-trust, nervous system regulation, and shifting your perspective on discomfort.
Self Trust
Self trust isn’t just telling yourself I trust you. It’s an inner knowing built through effort and consistency. The unconscious mind doesn’t judge right or wrong—it simply records experiences. If you say you’ll do something and don’t follow through, the mind registers that as evidence that you can’t be trusted.
Start small. If you haven’t socialized in years, don’t expect to walk into a crowded event and shine. Begin with something manageable: attend a small meet-up, invite a friend along, or make it your goal to speak to one new person. Each follow-through teaches your body that you can handle challenge, and resistance begins to fade.
Nervous System Regulation
As we discussed earlier, survival and fear start in the body. Train yourself to notice the signals. The earlier you catch them, the easier it is to regulate.
Breathwork is one of the simplest and most effective tools. Try box breathing: inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four, and repeat. This slows your heart rate, calms the mind, and stops spiraling thoughts before they take over.
By regulating your body, you remind your mind that you’re safe. Over time, you’ll notice that situations which once triggered anxiety now feel manageable.
Shifting Your Perspective
Here’s what I’ve learned: behind every moment of resistance is an opportunity to expand. Lean into discomfort with curiosity and excitement. One of my favorite quotes is, “The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.”
Use discomfort as your compass. Chase it. Embrace it. Love it. There is no greater gift than the ability to transcend your own limitations. The more you challenge your patterns, the more you step into your power—and ultimately, your purpose.
We were not designed to play small. The human spirit thrives on growth and expansion, and expansion is rarely comfortable. If you want to learn to fly, you must first be willing to fall. Embrace uncertainty. Believe in yourself. And remember, everything you want lives on the other side of discomfort.
With Love and Gratitude
Michael Perry
Ad Lucem
